Now, videogames haven’t made me violent, buy they have made me feel like I’m supposed to pick this up.
I was helping my little brother
Where the fuck does jack come from
The most accurate representation of math I’ve seen yet.
Step up your game, Olive Garden.
a bunch of girls commented their numbers on harry’s instagram pics and i am gonna be that asshole that texts them pretending its harry
i fucking love myself
One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice lady of some sort of christian denomination handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.
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here’s a tip
if someone says they don’t drink, they don’t fucking drink
fat isn’t an insult skinny isn’t a compliment they’re just words describing body types please drill that in your heads
I get drunk on dreams and choke on real life.
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me: hell yeah i love talking to my best friend
person: what do you guys talk about
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